


Maybe

by Bitterpotato00



Category: Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures
Genre: First night home, Past Abuse, late night thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23904376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bitterpotato00/pseuds/Bitterpotato00
Summary: Some part of her always knew that this would be the hardest part: returning to normal.Blue’s first night’s sleep in her own bed does not go as smoothly as she’d planned.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Maybe

‘This was supposed to be the easy part,’ Blue thinks, laying still on her bed for what seems like the sixth hour in a row. 

Time is passing. She knows because she sees the light slanting through her curtained windows. It must be two in the morning, maybe three, but she supposes that it doesn’t really matter anyway, because, for once, there’s no plan in place for the coming day. 

But Blue still can’t sleep. 

‘This was supposed to be the easy part,’ she thinks, and that’s true. She’s home now, tucked away in her quaint little bedroom in the Sevi Isles with her parents fast asleep just down the hall. She’s safe. Silver is safe. Pryce is gone. 

Her eyes remain open. 

It’s not just the frustration of not being able to sleep after such a busy day, because Blue knows that nothing with her is that simple. The new clothes are nice and her nightgown is easily the most comfortable garment she’s ever worn, and the dinner right by the beach was delicious, and her parents are so lovable and wholesome that it hurts and-

-she stuffs her face into her pillow. She shouldn’t have to try this hard. 

Some part of her always knew that this would be the hardest part: returning to normal. Blue’s life has been everything but normal and she’s accepted that. But as quickly as everything had been stolen away, it was returned to her. Part of Blue wonders if this will last: her parents, her house, her happiness. Part of her wonders if she’s even worthy of normal. Perhaps she’s not built for normal; nothing is normal about her, not the way she thinks or the way she formulates plans on the fly. She isn’t normal in the way that birds still make her heart skip a beat and she isn’t normal in how easily she manipulates people. She isn’t normal, nor is she the same little girl stolen from Pallet Town all those years ago. Maybe she’s better off, but maybe she’s not. 

All Blue knows is that she still can’t sleep. 

She’s been conditioned to endure the negatives, so the negatives are all she can think about. It’s just too simple, this happy ending, even though she had to fight tooth and nail to even meet her parents and go home. Maybe it’ll all be gone again in the morning, just like when she was five and playing with Jiggly in her backyard. It can happen. It happened once. 

What’s to stop it from happening again?

Blue sighs and shakes her head. Time to ground herself once more. She’s not in danger of being stolen and abused, nor is she in danger of losing what she’s so quickly recovered. That’s the paranoid side of herself talking. That’s the masked little girl talking, still in the icy caves within Blue’s mind, shaking with cold and pain and wondering what could go wrong next. There’s a part of her that never escaped the Masked Man. Blue never figured out how to free that scared little girl, so she’s stayed with her for all these years. She clutches her little gloved hands around her larger ones and whispers to her. It’s never pleasant. 

But Blue doesn’t hate her. She could never bring herself to hate that little girl because she was her once, and that fear and paranoia helped her survive through the darkest times of her life. Maybe she can bring her out into the light of the Sevi Isles, so she can see the beautiful beach and all the new clothes Mommy and Daddy bought for her- so she can know that there is a home for her. 

Maybe Blue can show her that she doesn’t have to be afraid anymore. 

Her eyes flutter closed. The bed beneath her is incredibly comfortable and Blue feels herself finally starting to relax; that paranoid side of her goes blissfully quiet. Mommy and Daddy will be there in the morning, with hugs and kisses and a big breakfast just for her. This isn’t going away because she won’t let it. She- and the little girl- will hold onto this with all her might.


End file.
